I was super excited to check out the new breakfast offering at Portside which has recently started doing bottomless brunch. Located just outside the drama theatre at the Opera House it’s a great location with a fantastic view. I’ve eaten pre theatre meals there before and have never been disappointed, so I jumped on a train and toddled down from Circular Quay to meet Tempest and Mal who I ran into while I was taking this photo.

The signage declared we were in the right place so we waited to be seated. We were shown to our table. No water, beverages or explanation was offered but a menu was at each place setting. Unfortunately it was the wrong menu, “were we here for bottomless brunch?” Er, yes that is what we booked for. Menus were swapped out and we started to peruse

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The menu wasn’t huge. It started with a chefs appetiser, then you could pick one of 5 things off the menu and then you’d be offered petit fours, coffee, tea and juice. I figured I’d probably leave hungry and I was not wrong.

There were a few different drink options. You could do no drinks for $55, Bellinis or mimosas for $75, Prosecco for $85 and $145 of you wanted the French – GH Mumm. I recently had a bad experience with mimosas at Babylon Rooftop so I asked if we could try and Bellini or Mimosa first and then we’d decide if we wanted to pay an extra $10 to have the plain Prosecco. After a bit of back and forthing, half an hour after we sat down, we finally got drinks.

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Tempest decided to go with the Prosecco, Mal and I decided to have the Bellini. We were told there were no Bellinis on offer as they were out of peach juice. Seriously? You offer Bellinis and don’t have any juice? Mimosas it was then and much like Babylon Rooftop is was pretty much sparkling OJ so Mal and I decided to join Tempest with plain Prosecco and they bought a bottle to the table. It might have been nice if they’d offered us some OJ on the side particularly when it was already part of the bottomless. I would have been happy to pay the $85 if I could add my own juice – peach or orange it’s all about the ratio – they definitely got that right at Lukes Kitchen.

The chefs appetiser was delicious. Probably something you’d get on the dinner menu. A small piece of toast with eggplant purée and fresh herbs, I’d have been happy with 50 of these tasty morsels.

We were asked if we were in a rush? Were we going to the theatre? I’m not sure who would be be doing a 2 hour bottomless brunch before a show but we were happy to sit, chat and watch the world go by.

Mal ordered the roast mushroom and Parmesan bruschetta with truffle oil, cream fraiche and poached eggs on sour dough. Of course I’d forgotten Mal had broken his arm when he’d come off the loser in a fight with a garbage bin and it was up to me to cut up his food into small bite sized pieces.

Tempest ordered the scrambled eggs with chives and goats cheese on sour dough. She wasn’t a fan so I thought I’d give them a go because it sounded delicious. The consistency of the eggs was not to my taste and the goats cheese appeared to be mixed with cream. It probably would have been better had it been left plain and crumbled over the top. Needless to say neither dish was finished.

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You all know I love good flat wear and the plates at Portside are personalised. Unfortunately I was too busy taking photographs of everyone else’s meal and totally forgot to take a one of mine own! I had ordered the shakshouka with white beans, crushed potato and caramelised onion. Again it wasn’t that great. It was a bit small and dry and it didn’t come with toast. I asked if they could bring me some and a short time later I was given a bread roll with some Pepe saya butter.

Dessert was billed at petit fours and consisted of a chocolate brownie and a marshmallow. They were tiny but delicious. Again this felt like something they might offer at dinner.

I am sure these restaurants think that the view alone is worth the extra $$ but I am no tourist dear reader. I have seen this view many times before and while it is pretty, I can walk past it for free any day of the week. Much like the Shangri La bottomless brunch a few weeks ago I felt the food was inadequate given the price. I’ve eaten at this restaurant serveral times and have never left disappointed, until now. If I’d paid $55 for this meal without booze I would have felt ripped off. I can get better brunch food at my local in Surry Hills that would have filled me up and probably have been half that price (no view though)

Last drinks were called and we were all out of Prosecco. We were sure we still had at least 20 minutes more considering how late we had started but they disagreed and that was that.

As we discussed how disappointing the meal had been we headed to the Patron Bar for a roady, that turned into several and ended with us being covered in glitter, but that my friend is another story…

Oh tonight I need a Margarita and I need it bad

I’m hoping that the tequila is gonna take me back

Give me the salt and the lime

Clay Walker

📍 where – Western Boardwalk, Sydney Opera House. Sydney.

🌎 www – https://www.portsidesydney.com.au/

🥂🍑🍊🍾 bottomless – Prosecco, Bellinis (if they have the juice) Mimosas or GH Mumm

💵 how much – $75 bellinis or mimosas, $85 for Prosecco, $145 GH Mumm or $55 with no drinks.

🍳 Food (not enough eat first) – a choice of mains bracketed by two tiny morsels

⌚️ how long – 2 hours 

🗓 when – Saturday and Sunday 10am – 12pm